A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the
ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog
in a trap.

The frog said to her, ‘If you release me from this trap, I
will grant you three wishes.’
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said,
‘Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!’ The woman
said, ‘That’s okay.’

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most
beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, ‘You do realize that this
wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis
whom women will flock to’.
The woman replied, ‘That’s okay, because I will
be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me.’
So, KAZAM-
she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she
wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, ‘That will make
your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than
you. ‘
The woman said, ‘That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s
his is mine.’
So, KAZAM- she’s the richest woman in the world!

The
frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, ‘I’d like to have a
mild heart attack.’

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t
mess with them.

Attention
female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue
feeling good!

Male
readers: Please scroll down.

The man had a heart attack ten times
‘milder’ than his wife!!!

Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they’re really smart .

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

You can forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour

ENJOY……. ……… ….

http://karan-diwan.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/12/brillant-joke-life-is-short-enjoy-laugh.htm

http://kvakutty.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/12/first-thing-to-do-humor/comments.htm

http://kvakutty.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/10/who-are-they-for-humor.htm

http://kvakutty.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/10/three-wishes-humor.htm

http://kvakutty.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/10/never-got-caught-humor.htm

http://kvakutty.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/10/the-right-man-humor.htm

I love you_________________

My reply: Do you know who does she love? Or sorry, she is dating me

I love my wife/husband

Thank god, it is not your friends

I love my parents

Are they in an old age home that you are sending an SMS

I miss you____________

She is busy with me

Dear__________, Please accept me

You beg very well or you the top most SMS beggar

This song is dedicated to_____________ fans/only for______ fans

Why other actor’s fans should not see this song? Or what will you do if Jackie Chan fans see this song?

I will be updating this list as and when I come across new gems. It is really funny and you must have a special heart to enjoy this phun. This message bar goes blank to my eye when songs of Simran, Rambha, and Shriya are played.

http://indiaregion.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/09/funny-sms-scroll-bar-of-sun-music.htm

The Man Hears:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C’MON
blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES

psst: i enjoyed this one! hope you guys too…

http://carmalin.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/09/what-men-hear-when-women-talk.htm

Disclaimer : For the authenticity of the source .These are not my views nor do I endorse them.

Equation 1:

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore, Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore, Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,

Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work
=============================================

Equation 2:

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore, Men – earn money = Donkeys

In other words, Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys

=============================================

Equation 3:

Women = eat + sleep + spend

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore, Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore, Women – spend = Donkeys

In other words, Women that don’t spend = Donkeys

=============================================

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?

Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

http://nkravi.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/09/man-woman-equation.htm

*Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?

*Why isn’t the word ‘gullible’ in the dictionary?

*Why do people who don’t want to go to hell bury themselves 6 ft. closer?

*Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

*If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?

*If people say if you eat dessert before dinner it will ruin your appetite won’t eating dinner

*Why does “lake” come first (Lake Michigan) and “river” come second (Mississippi River)?

*Seeing as cupid is so good at matchmaking, does he have a girlfriend?

*Is it possible that there’s another planet inhabited with creatures made by the Devil?

*How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?

*If you stick on stickers on non-stick pans, would they stick on?

*Why does breaking a mirror mean seven years of bad luck when seven is a lucky number??

*What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?

*How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?

*If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

*If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?

*Isn’t it scary that the word “therapist” is the same as the words “the” and “rapist” put together?

*Why don’t the hairs on your arms get split ends?

*Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

*Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

*If heat rises, then shouldn’t hell be cold?

*Why do companies offer you “free gifts?” Since when has a gift NOT been free?

*You know the expression, “Don’t quit your day job?” Well what do you say to
people that work nights?

*Which way does a compass point in space?

*Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

*Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?

*Why is Donkey Kong called “DONKEY” Kong if he’s a monkey?

*When a boy is named after his dad, he is called ‘Junior,’ but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?

*Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it’s really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

*Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

*If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who cant walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms ?

*What do vegetarians feed their dogs?

*Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?

*Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

*Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day?

*Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?

*How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?

*Why do mattresses have designs on them when they’re always covered with sheets?

*If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?

*How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

*You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

*Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?

*Why Pluto the dog walks on four legs but Goofy walks on 2 legs?

*Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?

*Why are they called ’stands’ when they’re made for sitting?

*What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

*What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man

*There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

*Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?

*If you have an open mind why don’t your brains fall out?

*If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

*If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

*If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead”?

*If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

*If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

http://poorva22587.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/09/funny-quotes.htm