How should or how could a married life be. . Just a thought..

First question is love or arranged marriage? Wat the hell . . If you decide to love, look back, do you find any queue waiting to accept your love? Not all are lucky to love somebody and get married. . Wat ever it is. . I say ‘ A marriage is a marriage ‘.

The initial stages after marriage is always fun. Don’t get me wrong here. This is the time when you explore the other person’s world and make it a part of yours. Lovers excuse me, you would have known all this by now, and for you this is the time when you start realizing whether all that was projected is true. I don’t find too much trouble here as you tend to keep up appointments, get back from office early, pick up the call with a romantic “hi”, etc.. After all a marriage is a marriage. .

Why can’t the entire life be like this? As years pass by, the thrill of marriage is lost. Why? When you decided to get married, didn’t you feel that he or she is your life? Problem is with time, you tend to take your spouse for granted.

Let’s take an example. Before marriage, you get a call from your spouse. Though you are busy, you start your conversation with a romantic “hi” and speak as if you care only about your partner. This continues even for some months after marriage. Suddenly after few months both of you start behaving weird. You pick up the call saying ‘Wat do you want? Either you hear everything tats said from the other end and say ok and cut the call or if you are bit busy, u say ‘ I am in a meeting, call me later’ that later never comes. . You grow wit time, your kids grow up . . Your spouse just becomes a part of your nagging system. . Your kids are busy training harder, emulating you. . Finally you leave the world saying tata bye bye leaving some money for the family. After all a marriage is a marriage.

How to sustain the happiness in the early part of your marriage throughout your life?

1. Love- the mandatory ingredient of life. You might feel silly to say ‘I love you’ to your spouse, 5 years down the line after marriage but I does mean a lot than when you said it first time. Do mean it when u say it.

2. Hype your special occasions – Birthdays, Marriage anniversaries, Valentine’s Day are precious chances you get to strengthen the bond of your relationships. Few weeks before the special day, sit with your spouse and decide wat you could do on tat particular day to make it really special. It can be an outing for a day or throwing a party @ your residence for your friends. Point is, spend your day together.

Starting your plans few weeks ahead will keep you excited for that long. Just like how we felt about our excursions at school.

3. Adaptability – you can call this as conscious adjustment. No two people can have similar thoughts and opinion. If you love your spouse truly, you won’t mind adjusting to keep the song playing. Let me say an example. Let’s say about a couple, the husband loves non- vegetarian and the wife doesn’t. Both of them are aware of this. Let’s assume both go out on a dinner. The caring husband orders only vegetarian knowing his wife. The lovable wife, seeing her husband drooling over the non veg in the nearby table can offer her husband ‘Dear, you can order non-veg for yourself, I wouldn’t mind. The veg dishes are delicious, I am happy with this ‘. Do you know wat some very very caring over scene parties do? Read on . .

4. Never over speak with emotions – These kind of people will always have some problem in their married life. Let’s come back to the dinner example. The husband will promise before his wife that he will sacrifice eatin non-veg, for the sake of his wife. . Did the husband really think, whether it was possible. We tend to commit or say things at the heat of the moment. . How many husbands still smoke even if they had promised their wife, that they would stop smoking . . If you say something stand by it. .

5. Keep the ego at bay – fights are common in life, they are chances to strengthen your foundation. If you fight over a thing be ready to compromise even if you aren’t the culprit. Don’t be monotonous wit the way you apologize. Be creative but at the same time be truthful.

An example for you – Both of you fight and you want to say sorry. Let me tell you a way. When your wife goes to sleep, you take your scribbling pad and start writing ‘I am so sorry’ keep writing it for say 30 mins. Your wife should see you writing but she shouldn’t know wat it is. Knowing girls, I am very sure that she would pretend as if she doesn’t care wat you are writing and will doze off. . At the end of your sorrys write ‘I love you’ and the leave the papers at the place where you wife would see it first thing in the morning. .

6. Create moments to cherish – don’t live your life the way normally people do. Be naughty, be crazy, bring out the child in you, and in short be wat you are. Here you go, in the morning squeeze out all the paste from the tube and fill it up wit some fairness cream. You can laugh for rest of your life watching your spouse brush his/her teeth with it.

A caution here. . Don’t peel off a paper from the office reports of your spouse and replace it with a grocery list. . Wow imagine . .

7. Stand by your spouse – never give up your spouse at anytime. . Girls generally like to have a kind of support. . An arm around her will be the kind of assurance that you can give. Hold your spouse with high esteem before your family and friends. Stand by your spouse even during their mistakes and failures.

8. Respect each other’s private space – You can expect your spouse to share all their secrets wit you but not all are this way. That is why we have friends . . Respect this space. Never question too much, give them the freedom. For all this to happen, you should have trust in each other. The width of your spouse’s private space is a self indicator of how good you have been to him/her.

After 20 or 30 years of your married life, your spouse shouldn’t feel that he or she has wasted their life wit you . . .

‘You live for her, she will live for you’

Happy married life!!

 

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