ndia attained its Independence on August 15th. It was on the same date my marriage was fixed and my husband was proclaiming to everyone that he lost his independence which indeed applied to me.

Three decades before the girls from the Hindu families were not allowed to pursue their studies after graduation. They would engage themselves in learning music, sewing, cookery etc.

The horoscopes would be exchanged and if they match the boy and his family would go to the girls house on an auspicious day. On both sides elders and close family members would be invited to be present on this” girl seeing “ceremony.

But mine was a different one although it was arranged by the elders. My would-be wanted to talk to me first in private, not in the presence of the elders. He conveyed this through his dad. The plan was like this. He would arrive accompanied by his youngest sister who was working as a lecturer and talk to me. His sister should assess my behavior, personality and other aspects.

My parents were perplexed by this request as our relatives (my mother’s parents, my dad’s sisters ) from various places have already arrived. Anyway, my father decided to permit this but on one condition that my brother and his wife (younger generation) would be with me.

We went to the first floor and my ‘would be’ asked me about my interests and elaborately explained about his work schedule, the company quarters, his neighbors etc. He warned me that I would have to engage myself in something useful as it would be different from a city life which I was used to. After an hour we came out. The elders were eagerly waiting for his approval nod or grin.

‘My would be’ and his sister smiled and waved good bye and left.. It was then my father disclosed another interesting part of the drama. He was informed by the boy’s dad that if the boy gives his consent to marry me the other members of his family would arrive and continue the scene. Otherwise the car would arrive empty.

What a suspense! When we heard the sound of the car horn we were pushing each other to occupy the windows and doors to see whether the car was empty or loaded with human heads.

Hip Hip Hurray! The car carried the elders of his family which meant that I had passed the matrimony entrance test.

On September 6th 1974 we were married. A happy marital Bliss by Gods grace.

The success of marriage lies in getting acclimatized to the new status from that of a pampered and adored teenager daughter with no responsibilities to that of a physical mate to a man as his legally wedded wife, a house wife managing the entire chores, caring and affectionate daughter-in-law to his parents, a mother after some time……oh the roles are endless. It is the mans duty to understand this transformation with concern.

But how to overcome the difficulties while we face them? Matured outlook is required in understanding his affection towards his parents or sisters by not being jealous but being affectionate. Possessiveness leads to frustration. Show your affection in your caring actions and words. Compromises and sacrifices are part of every marriage. Avoid wallowing in self pity.

When you look at the negative part of your partner also weigh his positive points. The other man who you think is good may not have your husbands negative points but may be having some other negative point or lack the good qualities which your husband has.

Finally before you think of breaking a marriage remember how secured and happy you were with your father and mother together and your children deserve the same love and affection of parents.

 

http://kala-bn.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/06/the-matrimonial-entrance-exam.htm